found this in a store on haight st.
everyone can appreciate the "truthiness"
lol.
enjoy.

romantic nonsense

how do i tell you that you im falling for you, when im not supposed to utter a single word of it? to say that even as cliche as it sounds, your face is the last thing i want to see before i drift off to sleep and the first thing i want see when i wake up in the morning. to say that when you speak, im all ears and i hang on your every word that you say like a dew drop on a flower in the early morning mist. to say that the thought of you, is the only thing that i want to think about all day. to say that you make me feel funny on the inside, but in a good way. that you make me nervous and that you make my palms sweat, and you make me frantically search for the right words to say every second that im with you. to say that im a verbal mess when we have a conversation, and that the simplest sentence spoken from my lips to your ears had my brain working in overdrive, breaking down and analyzing the sentence to its every word, to the definition of each word, to the very letters that compose the word just so that it comes out... just.. right. to say that i just want to pull you in close and kiss you and kiss you and kiss and call you mine... because im already yours. how do i say it all? without saying it at all??

25 random tidbits about me...

1) i can be a total dick sometimes

2) im never without my iphone. ever. ever ever ever ever ever. i may not answer it sometimes, but its always either in my pocket or within my immediate vicinity.

3) when im trying to think of something i tap the bride of nose repeatedly with my right index finger

4) i used to have power rangers bed sheets when i was a kid.

5) other then for work, i rarely use my email as a means of communication.

6) id rather txt you then call you

7) im easily startled, ask matt.

8) i have a thing for black women.

9) i laugh at almost EVERYTHING. it doesnt take much to make me laugh.

10) i used to play the trumpet.

11) i find big breast unattractive. i prefer A-B cups. a small selection of Cs. lol.

12) i have a tattoo of a nautical star right above the base of my penis

13) im afraid that one day ill lose my passion for photography.

14) i can only fall asleep if the room is pitch black and completely quiet.

15) i cant eat mushrooms. im not allergic, i just cant eat them.

16) as much as my friends think im a manwhore, i do believe in monogamy, when in a committed relationship of course. lol.

17) i have a fear of spiders, closed spaces, extreme heights, and deep bodies of water.

19) Ive broken both thumbs, fractured my ankle, broken my collar bone, and dislocated both shoulders.

20) my first relationship was with this girl named Kimberley. we were both 6 years old, and whenever our parents would pick us up and walk us home, we would hold hands.

21) i have the movies "high fidelity" and "fifth element" almost memorized

22) ive never ready ANY of the harry potter books. not one of them. and ive never watched the movies
either.

23) almost every single girl ive ever dated and probably will date have been or will be taller then me. and i have absolutely no qualms about that. haha.

24) i used to be really emo and wear eyeliner. gay. lol.

25) as much as i like to go out and party it up, im actually a homebody. id rather stay in and cook dinner and watch High Fidelity for the umpteenth time then be at the VIP room of a ritzy club.

SFC

I haven't lived there long or might not be home a lot, but it's my city. San Francisco has seen all of me and yet I barely know our city of St. Francis of Assisi. She's seen my blood that I've shed from scrapes and cuts she's given me while I explored her pavement and steel. She's seen the sweat I've perspired climbing her hills and winding alleyways. She's seen my eyes and how I've looked at her lovingly, through the lens of my camera. She's seen me act a fool and break my heart. And she's seen me seek solace on her empty streets late late at night, taking comfort in the protective canopy she's made for me built from her stretching skyline of tall buildings and lights.

She's felt the soles of my shoes, worn on her never-ending network of sidewalks.

She's heard me laugh. She's heard me sing, quietly, under my breath, from pulsating earphones, songs pouring into my ears, creating my own personal soundtrack for her.

She knows of my taste for crab fried rice, caramelized bananas with coconut ice cream and buffalo burgers with pineapples.

She knows me so intimately, she's seen me when I brave the cold and the wind, just to stand still for hours taking her photo.

And yet I feel like I still barely know her at all. All I know is that she's good to me. She may not be Tokyo, or Hong Kong, or London, or Paris, or New York, or LA, but I can't imagine mySELF, losing MYself anywhere else. When I come home, I think I'll take that much needed time I've been planning to take to get to know her a little bit better.


Sorry for the babble, just an FYI.

i think she's sexiest...

When she's not wearing expensive lace lingerie,
but instead when she wears simple cotton bikini bottoms and one of my button up shirts.
When she pouts her lips when she gets mad.
How she subconsciously shakes her hips to the beat of the music shes listening to.
When she knows I don't care how she looks but still makes a slight effort to look sexy.
When she wears her glasses instead of contacts.
How she lowers her glasses to shoot me a "I want to tear your clothes off" look when I walk through her front door.
When she smirks at me.
How she says the word "fuck"
I think she's sexiest when she does a painfully slow and sensuous strip tease.
When she wears my clothes the morning after.
When i walk in on her sitting in the middle of her living room with her big over-sized headphones on, surrounded by stacks and stacks of records, eyes closed and head bobbing, and totally and completely immersed in the song she's listening too.

I think she is at her absolute sexiness when she's lying in bed with me, with no make-up on, when her hair is an untamed mess, in her bare skin, and with all her insecurities on display under the morning light permeating through her shades. That willingness, to be at her most vulnerable around me, nothing by far sexier or more beautiful then that...

she.

I've got this overwhelming need to want to make all your dreams come true.

And i would, in a heartbeat.

50 reasons people have sex.

01 - because you cant get to sleep
02 - makeup sex
03 - breakup sex
04 - your friend told you about a new position
05 - revenge
06 - rebound
07 - paratrooping / banging for roof
08 - nothing good on TV
09 - because you're in a hotel
10 - curiosity
11 - its raining
12 - its half time
13 - diet/exercise
14 - celebrating recent weight loss
15 - to kill time
16 - prom night
17 - you're already at their place and you don't want to move your car
18 - show off new lingerie
19 - celebrate major victory by your favorite team and/or political candidate
20 - your chance to do it in a specific location (ie: airplane bathroom, stairwell, movie theater)
21 - to prove you're not in a rut
22 - stress relief
23 - just shaved legs
24 - forgot to buy a birthday present
25 - "lets get it on" by Marvin Gaye is playing on the radio
26 - celebrating the joy of life after a near-death experience
27 - you're one chance with a celebrity
28 - because your'e too drunk to drive
29 - to avoid cleaning, studying, or doing work of any kind
30 - she wants to
31 - its cold outside
32 - cheer someone up
33 - you're in the back seat of a chevy
34 - your roommate is out of town and you can do it on the couch
35 - some very protected sex to celebrate the fact that i'm not/you're not/we're not pregnant
36 - practice
37 - they have air conditioning and you don't
38 - because he/she is from one of the countries you haven't sex with a person from yet
39 - "Damn your calves look good in those cargo shorts"
40 - called/texted the wrong person but she was into it anyway
41 - because she looks like your super hot cousin and this is the closest it'll ever get to being okay
42 - breaking in a new apartment
43 - because he said he loves you and you're not ready to say it back yet
44 - wingman diving on the friend grenade
45 - your condoms are about to expire
46 - "its getting a little hard"
47 - miscommunication
48 - to reinforce good behavior
49 - to change the subject
50 - love <3>

I should be keeping this to myself but...

I'm a little confused.
I don't know why I am.
I usually know what I want.
But this time...
For some reason it's complicated.
I'm stuck between my emotions and my obligations.
I really want to say something.
I really want to be the one.
But desire should never negate priorities.
Hence the predicament.

Fuck, I used to be good at this kind of situation.
An expert at weighing the pros and cons and making the right choice.
Now not so much.

Fuck it, I'll drive.

I'm with her because I'm afraid to be alone. It's the honest truth, I really am. My last relationship really messed me up. The kind that seriously makes you question your self-worth, but totally not in that emo "I fucking hate my life" way. Just the "What the fuck did i do wrong this time??" way. That's why I jumped head first into a string of drunken one night stands for instant, yet empty, gratification; chased after a girl with no end result except for the feeling of having just run in circles for a couple of months like I was dog chasing my own tail; and now being with someone who failed to mention a while back that she had gotten back with her boyfriend while we were still together.

I know I don't trust her anymore, and probably never will. And I know nothing good will come of this but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the attention and much needed affection I get from her, no matter if it's temporary. And it doesn't involve much trust. The point is that I'm having a great time, just being care-free and enjoying myself. And then when it ends, it ends. But until then, don't mind me when I disappear for days at a time. It's just me trying to find myself again, somewhere in between the sheets with her, lip-locked and all that jazz, and in between all the fine lines and fine cautionary print you find at the bottom of the contract you sign when you sell your soul to the devil. I'm figuring out who I am with my ex out of the big romantic abstract picture that is my jumbled up love life. It's like if Pablo Picasso tried to paint the notion of love during his cubism period (If you dont know what that means, then look it up, lol). And if all this soul searching ive been doing and plan to keep doing involves a lot of hot, premarital sex, then so be it. But it's not like we're into whips and chains or anything. That kind of S&M latex shit is reserved for couples and old married people. And THAT, involves a whole lot of trust. LMAO.

"Just because its important to be mentioned a second time."

HE BRO CODE

Rules and Codes of Conduct that EVERY Bro should KNOW and will adhere at ALL TIMES:

-- If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.


-- Mom of a Bro is always off limits. Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. [NOTE: It is customary for a Bro to avoid such Brocularity if his Bro's mom is a 9 or better, for fear of Oedipal inducement.] Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro, ARTICLE 89 expressly prohibits the adopted Bro from invoking the Sloppy Second clause in any related filings with the International Court of Bros. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.


-- Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.


-- If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a “that sucks, man” and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months.

-- A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.


-- A Bro must provide his bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro’s favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.


-- In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.


-- A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro of an impending or ongoing girl fight in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime.


-- In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo shall determine the outcome.


-- A Bro shall honor his father and mother.


-- Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl’s wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother. (NOTE: If said girl's wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother has a NET weight equal to one and a half [1.5] times the combined weight of both Bros or exceeds 880 kgs / 400 lbs, then a Bro must be compensated with either monetary or non-monetray means that is equal to the amount of humilation that is to be shoulder by the supporting Bro. If no compensation is presented, then a Bro may relieve himself of his duties citing the violation of the "Bros before hoes" article under the pretext of gross neglegance. Unless of course an exchange of favors is owed between Bros, then which such favor must be accepted and maybe classified as a non-monetary form of compensation. )


-- One Bro makes a solo chick attack.
A second Bro provides a crutch.
A third Bro rounds out the pack.
But a fourth Bro is one too much.


-- If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro’s girlfriend’s birthday and / or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless whether he thinks his Bro already knows.


-- A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.


-- A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has thrice confirmed it’s cool.


-- A Bro shall, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection. In the event that one Bro finds himself lacking the necessary prophylactic accoutrements needed to complete the act of coitus in a safe and effective manner, he is in the right to expect his Bro will use all measures within or without his means to provide the aforementioned prophylactic in a timely yet discreet fashion. When a Bro signals his need using previously agreed upon code words and/or body signage, it is understood that his Bro will discontinue all present activity [excepting the act of coitus itself whereby which Bro vows to "finish as quickly as possible"], in order to respond with a panoply of options at Bro-in-need's location. A Bro must patronize the most rapid method of transportation available while endeavoring to assist his Bro. In no instance may a two-wheeled bicycle be used as this is not only humiliating, but also potentially harmful to the perineum - a zone of tissue perilously adjacent to noted sexual organs. In the event that a state, federal, international, or galactic law is breached due to recklessness, unacceptable levels of speed, and/or the hijacking of an airborne vehicle(s), it is understood that the primary Bro will shoulder any associated legal fees or fines. However, any costs or damages incurred from the use of public transportation are the responsibility of the secondary Bro alone as this is an instance of Quid Pro Bro. Upon arrival at the primary Bro's location, the secondary Bro must exercise complete discretion so as not to disrupt the primary Bro's "flow." It is understood that a Bro will engage in all training necessary to achieve this objective, including, at minimum, a five month Ninjitsu curriculum mastering the twin arts of stealth and secrecy.


-- A Bro shalt at all times say yes.


-- A Bro shall never "cock block" another Bro intentionally. However, if a Bro did not call dibs on the girl in the presence of the accused Bro or the Bro was unaware, then the cock block shall be deemed as unintentional and the accusations will be dropped. It is the responsibility of a Bro to pass on the information of a pre-established dibs to a Bro that is currently unaware. so as to avoid/prevent a cock block.


-- Thou shalt not make make eye contact during a Devil’s Three-way.


-- Unless explicit permission is granted by a Bro, thou shalt not sleep with your Bro’s ex-girlfriend. And There are no exceptions or excuses a Bro can make to justify going behind a fellow Bro's back.


The Golden Rule

-- Bro's before hoes. Always.