Sex education

nobody on their deathbed looks back and says "i wish i had made love less."

so when stella came onto me again for the umpteenth time, i finally succumbed.

i met her earlier tonight at our usual spot.
and we had the same conversation like we always do.
we argued over the finer points of office politics

and compared differing philosophies on relationships and sex.
but there was something different mixed into the atmosphere we created in the dark confines of our leather clad booth.

the sexual tension was more palpable then usual.

we often keep the mood flirtatious and lite.
she knew i had my heart set on a particular girl back home.
it barely stopped her from coming onto me a couple of times.

but i always waved it off and deduced it down to her acting out over her ex boyfriend.

and i didnt want to just be another notch on her belt.

however, tonight was definitely different.
she giggled as her right hand slowly crept its way onto my lap
while i whispered my half of our conversations into her ear.

by end of the night we were drunk with laughter and fat with glee.

as we made our way towards our obvious destination i tried to rationalize it all.

maybe this is why god made women like stella.
she wasnt a slut, she was just the luscious voice of promiscuity.
and i was navigating her intense sense of sensuality.

so we made love.

but we didnt make love the way they do in the movies.

where the guy slides right between her legs like a hot knife through butter.

this was real life.

we made the kind of love where you just laugh together when your bodies make that farting noise when air gets trapped between you.

or when youve made it to the edge of the bed and you have to stop to make an akward shuffle back to the center, or just fall off of it altogether.

no, we didnt make cinema love.

but it definitely felt at that moment like everything was right in the world.
and i could articulate why sex is so great.
that feeling of that velvet axle grease makes you know youre on the correct path to that unimaginable bliss that people always talk about, sing about, write about, make movies about.

our transcended infusion was not of the romantic type.

there was no deep seriousness or any kind of cosmic connection
it was just, fun.

quando

i want to be free.

not with my head in the clouds.

or constantly falling...

i just want to finally hit the ground

and hit the ground running.

"I'm a sucker for Louis Jordan and his Tympany Five"

And cigar classics
And muted trumpets
And Bing Crosby and the Inkspots

"I'm not trying to set the world on fire, I'm just trying to light a flame in your heart, baby."

I swear I was born in the wrong era.
Can we please bring back slim grey suits, white pocket squares and no socks with loafers/wingtips instead of distressed designer jeans and generic TAP OUT shirts???
And classic lounge crooners.
And Gene Kelly and "Singing in the rain."
When love was still pure and not dilluted.
And divorce was actually still taboo and not at all mainstream.

And when i could enjoy jazz in clubs instead of a fucking starbucks with a $4 soy nonfat latte.
With golden age songs and the sweet voice of Mildred Bailey.
When being a gentleman was considered being a gentelman and not mistaken for being gay or a douch bag by my male peers.
When opening doors for women was a must and not considered being pussy whipped or being a pussy in general.

Lol I'm nostalgic about a time that existed before my parents were even born.

found this in a store on haight st.
everyone can appreciate the "truthiness"
lol.
enjoy.

romantic nonsense

how do i tell you that you im falling for you, when im not supposed to utter a single word of it? to say that even as cliche as it sounds, your face is the last thing i want to see before i drift off to sleep and the first thing i want see when i wake up in the morning. to say that when you speak, im all ears and i hang on your every word that you say like a dew drop on a flower in the early morning mist. to say that the thought of you, is the only thing that i want to think about all day. to say that you make me feel funny on the inside, but in a good way. that you make me nervous and that you make my palms sweat, and you make me frantically search for the right words to say every second that im with you. to say that im a verbal mess when we have a conversation, and that the simplest sentence spoken from my lips to your ears had my brain working in overdrive, breaking down and analyzing the sentence to its every word, to the definition of each word, to the very letters that compose the word just so that it comes out... just.. right. to say that i just want to pull you in close and kiss you and kiss you and kiss and call you mine... because im already yours. how do i say it all? without saying it at all??

25 random tidbits about me...

1) i can be a total dick sometimes

2) im never without my iphone. ever. ever ever ever ever ever. i may not answer it sometimes, but its always either in my pocket or within my immediate vicinity.

3) when im trying to think of something i tap the bride of nose repeatedly with my right index finger

4) i used to have power rangers bed sheets when i was a kid.

5) other then for work, i rarely use my email as a means of communication.

6) id rather txt you then call you

7) im easily startled, ask matt.

8) i have a thing for black women.

9) i laugh at almost EVERYTHING. it doesnt take much to make me laugh.

10) i used to play the trumpet.

11) i find big breast unattractive. i prefer A-B cups. a small selection of Cs. lol.

12) i have a tattoo of a nautical star right above the base of my penis

13) im afraid that one day ill lose my passion for photography.

14) i can only fall asleep if the room is pitch black and completely quiet.

15) i cant eat mushrooms. im not allergic, i just cant eat them.

16) as much as my friends think im a manwhore, i do believe in monogamy, when in a committed relationship of course. lol.

17) i have a fear of spiders, closed spaces, extreme heights, and deep bodies of water.

19) Ive broken both thumbs, fractured my ankle, broken my collar bone, and dislocated both shoulders.

20) my first relationship was with this girl named Kimberley. we were both 6 years old, and whenever our parents would pick us up and walk us home, we would hold hands.

21) i have the movies "high fidelity" and "fifth element" almost memorized

22) ive never ready ANY of the harry potter books. not one of them. and ive never watched the movies
either.

23) almost every single girl ive ever dated and probably will date have been or will be taller then me. and i have absolutely no qualms about that. haha.

24) i used to be really emo and wear eyeliner. gay. lol.

25) as much as i like to go out and party it up, im actually a homebody. id rather stay in and cook dinner and watch High Fidelity for the umpteenth time then be at the VIP room of a ritzy club.

SFC

I haven't lived there long or might not be home a lot, but it's my city. San Francisco has seen all of me and yet I barely know our city of St. Francis of Assisi. She's seen my blood that I've shed from scrapes and cuts she's given me while I explored her pavement and steel. She's seen the sweat I've perspired climbing her hills and winding alleyways. She's seen my eyes and how I've looked at her lovingly, through the lens of my camera. She's seen me act a fool and break my heart. And she's seen me seek solace on her empty streets late late at night, taking comfort in the protective canopy she's made for me built from her stretching skyline of tall buildings and lights.

She's felt the soles of my shoes, worn on her never-ending network of sidewalks.

She's heard me laugh. She's heard me sing, quietly, under my breath, from pulsating earphones, songs pouring into my ears, creating my own personal soundtrack for her.

She knows of my taste for crab fried rice, caramelized bananas with coconut ice cream and buffalo burgers with pineapples.

She knows me so intimately, she's seen me when I brave the cold and the wind, just to stand still for hours taking her photo.

And yet I feel like I still barely know her at all. All I know is that she's good to me. She may not be Tokyo, or Hong Kong, or London, or Paris, or New York, or LA, but I can't imagine mySELF, losing MYself anywhere else. When I come home, I think I'll take that much needed time I've been planning to take to get to know her a little bit better.


Sorry for the babble, just an FYI.

i think she's sexiest...

When she's not wearing expensive lace lingerie,
but instead when she wears simple cotton bikini bottoms and one of my button up shirts.
When she pouts her lips when she gets mad.
How she subconsciously shakes her hips to the beat of the music shes listening to.
When she knows I don't care how she looks but still makes a slight effort to look sexy.
When she wears her glasses instead of contacts.
How she lowers her glasses to shoot me a "I want to tear your clothes off" look when I walk through her front door.
When she smirks at me.
How she says the word "fuck"
I think she's sexiest when she does a painfully slow and sensuous strip tease.
When she wears my clothes the morning after.
When i walk in on her sitting in the middle of her living room with her big over-sized headphones on, surrounded by stacks and stacks of records, eyes closed and head bobbing, and totally and completely immersed in the song she's listening too.

I think she is at her absolute sexiness when she's lying in bed with me, with no make-up on, when her hair is an untamed mess, in her bare skin, and with all her insecurities on display under the morning light permeating through her shades. That willingness, to be at her most vulnerable around me, nothing by far sexier or more beautiful then that...

she.

I've got this overwhelming need to want to make all your dreams come true.

And i would, in a heartbeat.

50 reasons people have sex.

01 - because you cant get to sleep
02 - makeup sex
03 - breakup sex
04 - your friend told you about a new position
05 - revenge
06 - rebound
07 - paratrooping / banging for roof
08 - nothing good on TV
09 - because you're in a hotel
10 - curiosity
11 - its raining
12 - its half time
13 - diet/exercise
14 - celebrating recent weight loss
15 - to kill time
16 - prom night
17 - you're already at their place and you don't want to move your car
18 - show off new lingerie
19 - celebrate major victory by your favorite team and/or political candidate
20 - your chance to do it in a specific location (ie: airplane bathroom, stairwell, movie theater)
21 - to prove you're not in a rut
22 - stress relief
23 - just shaved legs
24 - forgot to buy a birthday present
25 - "lets get it on" by Marvin Gaye is playing on the radio
26 - celebrating the joy of life after a near-death experience
27 - you're one chance with a celebrity
28 - because your'e too drunk to drive
29 - to avoid cleaning, studying, or doing work of any kind
30 - she wants to
31 - its cold outside
32 - cheer someone up
33 - you're in the back seat of a chevy
34 - your roommate is out of town and you can do it on the couch
35 - some very protected sex to celebrate the fact that i'm not/you're not/we're not pregnant
36 - practice
37 - they have air conditioning and you don't
38 - because he/she is from one of the countries you haven't sex with a person from yet
39 - "Damn your calves look good in those cargo shorts"
40 - called/texted the wrong person but she was into it anyway
41 - because she looks like your super hot cousin and this is the closest it'll ever get to being okay
42 - breaking in a new apartment
43 - because he said he loves you and you're not ready to say it back yet
44 - wingman diving on the friend grenade
45 - your condoms are about to expire
46 - "its getting a little hard"
47 - miscommunication
48 - to reinforce good behavior
49 - to change the subject
50 - love <3>